I know, you never thought you'd be reading a blog post about being divorced. Well, you are, and you are for a reason!
You are now on the other side of the fence, and I am here to tell you the grass is definitely greener!
Yes, I am serious! Having experienced two of them myself, I am living proof of it. Your life will be good again and even greater than before, if you are willing to invest in yourself. Key word here is YOURSELF! But first you must choose to start again. It is the greatest thing you can do to honor who you are, what you believe, and why you are here. So, how do you start?
#1 Start By Believing
Believe you are worthy. Believe you deserve to be happy. Believe you are amazing. Believe you are strong and can do anything you put your mind to, but first you must begin by believing. Key word here is BELIEVE!
Not feeling it? It's okay to get mad; in fact I want you too! The more energy, positive emotion, and momentum you can put into believing you deserve to be happy, the sooner happiness will come your way. Once you have mastered believing, all resentments will disappear.
#2 Unpack Your Suitcase
No, you're not going on a vacation, but you are unpacking and getting rid of your "baggage." By baggage, I mean your ex, and the sooner the better. To do this, you have to forgive then forget. Holding grudges and talking negatively about them will only weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward and reaching your goal of total bliss. I know, easier said than done right? Key word here is FORGIVE.
Here are some suggestions on how to unpack.
Write a letter. Yes, to your ex, and NO you don't send it! In this letter you can get it all out; all the good, bad and ugly sh*t that has been consuming your thoughts. Write whatever comes to your mind. Don't worry about grammar or making any sense; just let the juices flow from your mind, to your pen, then onto the paper. Keep writing until it's all out. Then read it, and add anything you may have forgotten.
Next, write another letter thanking them for the positive attributes they brought to your relationship. You may have to think long and hard, or go back to the beginning, but remember you did once love them. Once completed, read it, add anything you may have forgotten. Now, take a deep breath and release it, let it go! Let them go. They are no longer serving you, say thank you but good bye! Now crumple it up, burn it, throw it in the garbage, shred it, or whatever way serves you best to let it go.
It is now done! Don't look back you're not going that way!
Look forward, stay positive, and keep yourself occupied doing the things you love and all the things you've dreamed of doing.
Now is the time to be a kid again and start exploring all your options. Have fun with it, get excited, after all it's your happiness and future you're creating!
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love, it will not lead you astray." Rumi
#3 Start a Love Affair
Yes, that is true!
You need to fall in love with yourself all over again!
If you're feeling pretty beat up, write some affirmations and repeat them often. I love to put Post It notes on my bathroom mirror, in my car, on my coffee maker. Some of my favorite ones are:
You are Worthy!
You are Beautiful!
You are Amazing!
You Can Do This!
Take yourself out on a date! Spend time doing things that make you smile, make you feel good and alive!
Remember who you are, have patience, have humor, see yourself in different ways. Get out of your own way, don't think so much, again just go have some fun!
You have a clean slate. Create the person you want to be, and fall in love with yourself. Be authentic, and strengthen the unique beautiful gifts you were born with.
You are now on your way. Take baby steps if you need to, or jump in with both feet and start running forward, whatever you choose will work, just choose to start.
Start now. Start where you are.
Start with fear.
Start with pain. Start with doubt.
Start with hands shaking.
Start with voice trembling, but start.
Start and don't stop.
Start where you are, with what you have. Just... start.
Once you've started, you won't want to stop, and you too will have created a new life, with new goals that align with who you are and with whom you were created to be. It all starts with believing happiness will return, letting go of the past, and loving yourself enough to make it all happen again.
Feeling stuck or alone? Visit my website and book a FREE 30 Minute Coaching Session to start moving forward and creating positive changes in you life!